THE WEST WING
 #105 [5-17] The Supremes

 Written by Deborah Cahn
Directed by Jessica Yu

TRANSCRIBED BY LORI JO VINCENT FOR TWIZ TV.COM.
++ Lori Jo Vincent is not a professional transcriptionist, just a West Wing
enthusiast and does not claim perfection in the transcript work.++

Guest Characters
Roy Ashland - Milo O'Shea
Evelyn Baker Lang - Glenn Close
Christopher Mulready - William Flechtner

Other Characters
Owen Brady
Malkin
Ryan Pierce
Congresswoman Andrea Wyatt
Lisa Wolfe
E. Bradford Shelton
Margaret
Debbie Fiderer
Marina

 ____________


TEASER

DONNA  [on phone to Josh]
Tony a Justice.  Kolbets a Justice.  Citizens first rung for America.
Arch Bishop.

JOSH
What?!

DONNA
Remal of New York.  Man of God.

MONDAY MORNING

JOSH [in Crowd]
I can't hear a damn...  Excuse me please.  Thank You.  Why are these people
up so early?

DONNA
It's a Supreme Court seat.  They have to assign his seat before Second
Justice Brady drops dead.  They also sent me a list.  Said find the old
list.  Listen to this.

JOSH
They calvilarily sacrificed the unborn innocence and back arms the reaper,
the horseman and the apocalyptic end.  The Kymbos is a word you wish get used
more.  Someone out there is selling ______ Jesus nominee t-shirts out there.

DONNA
Fairyland registered.

JOSH [meets Donna in hall]
You want this?

DONNA
You don't like it?

JOSH
Not Really.

[Senior Staff Meeting in Leo's office]

JOSH
Sorry I'm late.

LEO
Young Leadership is in with the President.

JOSH
They give us more names?

LEO
I'm sure they are.

TOBY
I need the short list by the end of the week.

LEO
Your schedule.  Your schedule.  Mine.  Keep 'em quick.  You got 3 judges
and hour.

C.J.
Who has Austin Jurelly from Connecticut?

TOBY
Me.

C.J.
ACOU called about him.  I don't think it'll be a problem asking him about
the migrant worker saying he wrote.

JOSH
Why isn't Haskins on it?

LEO
Having trouble with his clerk.

MARGARET
Toby - Duart on line 2.

LEO [whispers]
C.J.'s concerned.

TOBY [on phone]
Hello.  Yes Anna.  No we're not having a party over deputy seat court
justices.  Well, not a big party.  [hangs up]

JOSH
Baker Lang?

LEO
Short circuit

JOSH
Isn't she kinda a lefty?

LEO
Yeah

C.J.
Decoy Josh.  Do it in your office someplace where the press can see her.

LEO
Well the left flanks sufficient on the mollified and the right flanks
sufficient and we panic so as to inspire reconciliation on all flanks.

JOSH
Flanks should do the trick.

TOBY
Put Fred Cannibary down so as most people won't consider.

C.J.
Baker Lang's just with Josh?

LEO
You want Toby too?

C.J.
It'll look more like we're taking her seriously.

LEO
Toby, Baker Lang will be your 8:45 with Josh.  Let's go people.  First one
to find me a Supreme Court Justice gets a fee corned beef sandwich.

[JOSH, TOBY and Lang in Roosevelt room for first interview]

JOSH
Obviously we're impressed with your record.

TOBY
You worked on the 14th Amendment in particular.  Is the stuff dreams are
made of.

JOSH
But before anything else, we want to gauge your interest level.  This will
certainly be a life style...

EVELYN
We can just chat

JOSH
I'm sorry?

EVELYN
I hear you really went to bat for Eric Haden.

JOSH
I wish we could have gotten him confirmed.

TOBY
Judge Lang, if the President...

EVELYN
Is he still teaching?

JOSH
Eric?  Yah.

TOBY
Umm...

JOSH
Again if we...

EVELYN
A conservative anchor just died.  A young brilliant thinker who brought the
right out of the closet and championed a whole conservative revival.  You
cannot replace Owen Brady with a woman who overturned a parental consent
law.  You'd be shish-ka-bob'd and set aflame on the south lawn.  2 reporters
have... 3 reporters have walked by since we started.  I'm window dressing.
That's fine. I'm happy to help.  But let's just chat about the weather.

[in Hallway]
JOSH
Now that's what we're talking about.  Maybe we should put her on the short
list.

TOBY
Yeah [sarcastically]

JOSH
OK, who's next?

DONNA
This says [as they exchange files]

JOSH
That says NO.

Fade Out
End of Teaser

******************

ACT I

[Donna's cubicle]

DONNA
Sign please.

JOSH
You want to move it so I can see?

DONNA
Not really

JOSH
Why are we apologizing to Ashland?

DONNA
We sent him flowers... condolence flowers.

JOSH
Condolences?

DONNA
For his death.

JOSH
He's alive.

DONNA
That's what he said.

JOSH
We sent flowers to the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court on the occasion
of his death?

DONNA
They're supposed to go to Justice Bradly's family.

JOSH
Get protocol on the phone.

DONNA
They didn't actually....

JOSH
We did this?!

DONNA
It was an honest mistake.  Ashland's 80, he's knock knock knocking on ....

JOSH
Who put the order in?

[RYAN Pierce enters]

RYAN
Hey guys!

JOSH
You sent a funeral bouquet to the family of the living breathing Chief
Justice of the Supreme Court?

RYAN
No I sent them to the other guy, Brady.

JOSH
No, actually you didn't.

RYAN
This is terrible.  Umm... I really apologize.  You know I am a nightmare
with details.  It's embarrassing.  This stuff just leaks out of my head.
We should leave the detail work to Donna.  She's go the head for it.  I'm
more of a big picture kind of guy.

[DONNA leaves]

JOSH
She's here because she's invaluable.  You're here because your uncle's so
powerful I can't fire you.  Big Picture.

[LISA Wolfe enters]

LISA
Hi.  Bad time?

JOSH
I'm on my way out.

LISA
2 minutes.

RYAN
Lisa, right?  You work for the Judiciary Committee.

LISA
Staff Director.

RYAN
Ryan Pierce, we met in my office.

JOSH
Excuse us.

[Walking down hall]

LISA
Is he the one who flipped the car in Nice?

JOSH
Yah.

LISA
When do I see names for Brady's seat?

JOSH
Do you want to let the body cool?

LISA
Your meeting with Bardwall, Gerelli, Evelyn Baker Lang. Who's acid trip
is that?

JOSH
Just take a breath.

LISA
_______ is not going to let the balance of the court hurl wildly to the
left.  You fill Bradley's seat...

JOSH
It's not Brady's seat.

LISA
It's not your Senate.

JOSH
We're just looking at the field.

LISA
Gerelli ahs a fondness for Vicatin and Evelyn Lang is not an option.  Save
us all some time.

JOSH
We're some democrats over here.  We're not going to nominate a born again
elk hunter with a tattoo of the confederate flag on his ass.

LISA
Look at Arthur Lopez or Brad Shelton or Myra Hieght.  You go with Bardwall
or Lang and the Senate is going to make the next year of your life a living
hell.  I tell you this as a person who would be your friend if I was a person
who looked for different things in friends.

JOSH
You should drop in more often.

LISA
As often as it takes.

[LEO's office]

LEO [on phone]
We don't' hate Asians.  No we don't.  Justice Wong is more valuable to us
where he is.

TOBY
Certainly

LEO
Thank you sir.  [hangs up]
A drive by with Sebastian.  Massachusetts Supreme.

TOBY
Yup.  You were looking for me?

LEO
You hear about a congressional delegation to the Middle East?

TOBY
Next Month

LEO
It was Jordan and Egypt and now they want to add Israel and do a day in the
territories and meet with the shadow negotiation crew.  State's "ify".

TOBY
As they should be.  The Prime Minister is going to go through the roof.

LEO
Not to mention the Prime Minister authority.

TOBY
I'll look into it.

LEO
Andy's leading the delegation.  Is that going to be a...

TOBY
No.  I'm on it.

[JOSH enters]

JOSH
President's on his way.  What's up?

TOBY
We hate Asians.

JOSH
OK.

[DEBBIE Fiderer's office]

DEBBIE
Ah Rina, how goes it?

RINA
These are today's ____________ and Mr. Zigler says they want it before
their 10:00.

DEBBIE
Here, you can put it in his hot little hands yourself.

[President Enters]

RINA
This is for you sir.

JED
Thank you Lana.

RINA
Thank you sir.

[DEBBIE and JED walk into the Oval Office.]
DEBBIE
I hate to do this, but it's Rina sir.

JED
Huh?

DEBBIE
The girl in the dress with the flowers.

JED
Just now?

DEBBIE
Yes

JED
What'd I call her?

DEBBIE
Lana

JED
Who's Lana?

DEBBIE
I'm guessing an exotic dancer from your spotty youth.

JED
I should apologize.  Get her back.

DEBBIE
You asked me yesterday how the schedule gets off the rails.

JED
Yah.

DEBBIE
This is how.

[DEBBIE leaves.  LEO enters.]

LEO
Good afternoon Mr. President.

JED
Hey did we make any friends?

JOSH
Maybe Zinelli, Shelton.

TOBY
Meltdown.

JOSH
Lang was pretty impressive.

JED
The gal from the 4th?  Didn't she strike down some stuff?

JOSH
Some consent for abortion.

JED
Yah, that's not going to happen.

LEO
She was a red flag to the board.

JOSH
Well, it's working.  Lisa Wolfe from the judiciary committee showed up today
spewing all kinds of threats and abominations.

LEO
About what?

TOBY
Three down was all the committee called belated.  We were considering bold
choices.

LEO
If the strategy's working, let's get her in here again.

JED
You like Shelton?

JOSH
Yah.  Moderate, insightful, gutsy.

JED
Let's meet him.  Who else?

JOSH
Helen Moler.  Erister Banet, DC circuit.  Ellis Yafffg.  Martha Zel.
Uh.. Howard Kagen out of New York.  Wilson Randy.  Diana Ralf.

TUESDAY

[C.J.'s office.  Toby enters.]

TOBY
What are you doing?

C.J.
Nothing.

TOBY
What?

Carol
She has a date.

C.J.
She's getting fired.

TOBY
What happened to the lights coming back in for another Red Herring performance
at 3:00?  You don't find that annoying?

C.J.
I'll have Carol march the times by Lang at 3.

TOBY
Gary Shelton's in with the President.

C.J.
You like him.

TOBY
Yah we do.

[Oval office]

JED
E. Bradford Shelton.  What's the E for?

SHELTON
Elijah.

JED
That's a burden.

SHELTON
Hence the E.

JED
I hear good things about you from my staff.  What did they miss?

SHELTON
My son burned you in epiphagy.

JED
Did you watch?

SHELTON
I didn't.  it was a campus demonstration against American presence in Saudi
Arabia.  There's a photo in his yearbook.  Somebody'll dig it up.  I thought
it would sound better in person than on paper.

JED
I'm not sure it did.  Did he burn anybody else?

SHELTON
No.  just you.

[Hallway]

EVELYN
Well, I missed you both.

JOSH
We appreciate this.

EVELYN
I keep running into Gary Shelton in the parking lot.  Some say coincidence.
I'm not so sure.

JOSH
You have been very patient.

EVELYN
Well I don't mind.  But people wonder why the appellate system is so backed
up.  We shouldn't let them know this is how I spend my time.

TOBY
Well if you were less appealing.

EVELYN
Same to you sir.

[Back in the Oval office]

JED
Affirmative action is going to be back in the next few years.  Let's start
there.

SHELTON
What do I know about it?

JED
What do you think about it.

SHELTON
I don't know.  Not the answer you were looking for?

JED
Not really.

SHELTON
Unnerving isn't it?

JED
Is there another topic you'd be more comfortable with?

SHELTON
Nothing comes to mind.

JED
Perhaps you should make something up.

SHELTON
I'm not trying to be Cajun, but I don't position myself on issues and I
don't know what I think about a case until I hear it.  There are moderates
who are called that because they are not activists.  And there are moderates
who are called that because sometimes they wind up on the left and sometimes
on the right.

JED
You think I want somebody who will vote with Ashland?

SHELTON
I think you are looking for somebody who will vote with him now and replace
him later.

JED
And that's not you?

SHELTON
Wish it were.  He's a giant.  But my allegiance to the eccentricities of a case
will reliably outweigh my allegiance to any position you might wish I held.

[Back in the Roosevelt room]

JOSH
Let's talk a little bit about what the judiciary committee's concerns would
be.  We can safely say reproductive rights are gonna come up.

TOBY
They're going to say judicial activism, particularly in jury.  How would
you address that?

EVELYN
And you're who?

TOBY
I'm sorry?

EVELYN
Who are you?  We're playing committee.

JOSH
This will be coming from one of the 11 Republicans on the Mitchell.

EVELYN
You can know anything you want.

JOSH
We don't know anything.

EVELYN
If you're Webster, the question is 'Where do you stand on Roe v Wade?'.  And
the answer is 'Judicial ruling shouldn't be based on personal ideologies -
mine or anyone else's'.

If you're Davies, the question is 'How would you approach the next
case?' because he's the drum banger on partial birth.  And the answer is
'I don't comment on hypotheticals'.

If you're Malkin, you're from Virginia, so your asking in re: Drury.  I take
you point by point from the doctor to the father to Casey to undue burden to
equal protection back to Roe at which point you can't remember the question
and I drink my water for a minute while you regroup.

JOSH
Will you excuse us for a second?

[JOSH and TOBY leave room]

JOSH
I love her.  I love her mind.  I love her shoes.

TOBY
Watch her and there'll be 5 senator's offices and they'll be so scared
they'll beg us to put Shelton on the court.

[JOSH and TOBY re-enter room]
JOSH
Sorry.  You're vetted by the FBI when you hit the Federal bench, but if we
re-opened an investigation....

EVELYN
I'm dressing, right?  Why would you bother with a background check?

JOSH
Humor us.

TOBY
If there's anything that they didn't find...

EVELYN
Let's see, umm... in high school I snuck a copy of Lady Shaberith's Lover out
of the public library and never returned it.  In college I got a marijuana
plant from my roommate as a birthday present.  In year 2 of law school I
had an abortion.

Can I get some water while you regroup?

Fade Out
End of Act I

******************

ACT II

[back in the Roosevelt room]

JOSH
Ok.  Ok.

EVELYN
I tell you this so you'd be prepared.  It might not come up, but if it did,
I wouldn't comment.

JOSH
But if they know, it'll be hard.

EVELYN
Roe v Wade affords me the right to terminate a pregnancy and to do so,
free from all restraint or interference of others.

JOSH
But hearing....

EVELYN
I'm told I have a right to privacy.  I think this is the sort of thing it's
referring to.  I also bet like a drunken sailor during my bi-monthly games
of Hearts.  You wanna talk about that?

[C.J.'s office]

C.J.
An abortion?

TOBY
Well all the gin joints in all the world....

JOSH
Maybe they won't find it.

TOBY
Oh, they'll find it.

JOSH
Yah, but who's going to bring it up?  The committee, they'll look like
monsters.

C.J.
They don't have to.  Somebody leaks it to the tabloid press, it's a feeding
frenzy in 12 hours.

JOSH
She says she can handle it.

C.J.
Oh, ok.

TOBY
Well, we need her.  She's the cautionary tale.  Without her we may not
get Shelton.

C.J.
Have you been outside today?  We don't hand somebody to the madding crowd
so they can take the heat off some guy from Indiana.

JOSH
That woman is - you should hear her.

C.J.
What?!  So she is a serious candidate now?

JOSH
She should be.

C.J.
She's going to be on posters under a headline that says 'Wanted for the
murder of 15 million American children'.

JOSH
Let's think about this.

C.J.
Let it go.

JOSH
No.  Really, nominees live or die by Roe v Wade.  We're playing along with
a ridiculous notion that the Supreme Court is a single issue body in a way
it hasn't been since I don't know when.

TOBY
Slavery.

JOSH
Exactly.  So she had an abortion. Who the hell are we?

C.J.
You think I like this? You keep this up and somone's going to take this to
the press and this bright woman's going to be a check out spectacle. Get
her out the building!

WEDNESDAY

[Oval office, Sr Staff meeeting]

JED
Brad Shelton could work for us?  I like him.

LEO
So talk to him this afternoon.  He's going to start getting calls.

JED
Who else?

TOBY
Rovensky is a good maybe.  The majority leader is really pushing him.  And
Barket form the 5th he has a question.

JOSH
It's a tax thing.  We're looking into it.

JED
You still having a love affair with Evelyn Lang?

JOSH
No, uh Robert Brant

JED
How come?

JOSH
She won't make through past the betting.

JED
Why not?

TOBY
She had an abortion.

JOSH
Robert Brant is on the 9th circuit state.  Nancy's worked with him and says
he's always kept his guard.

JED
When did she have an abortion?

JOSH
Law school.

JED
Before or after.

C.J.
After '73, it was legal.

JED
Are we discarding anybody else for legal activities?

TOBY
Not yet.

JED
Tonsillectomy.  We down on surfing this year?

C.J.
She'd be publicly dismayed.

JED
27 million women voted for me.  I think they might had it in mind that I was
going to protect this particular right. I like the guy from Florida with
the good hair do, but I want to retain my right to choose. I'm voting for
what's-his-name married to Abbie Bartlet.

TOBY
Sir.  They're going to make this about her objectivity.

JED
We promised the committee a short list by Friday.  I want her name on it.

LEO
Ok.

STAFF
Thank you Mr. President.

[staff exits]

JED
That pisses me off.

LEO
Apparently.

JED
We marched her around here all week.  The honor of a place on the short list
is the least we can do.

LEO
We still going with Brad Shelton?

JED
[nods his head]

[DONNA's cubicle]

RYAN
I found the seat on the Supremes heavy stuff.

DONNA
Don't call them that.

RYAN
My uncle calls them that.  So does the minority leader.  So does Henry
Clark.  You know him, he's on the court.

DONNA
You drop one more name and I'm going to staple your mouth shut.

RYAN
Eh-eh

[RYAN sees JOSH and leaves.  JOSH enters]

JOSH
Hell to pay at Ashen-court.  I've offended the dell ten.

DONNA
Lisa Wolfe called twice.  Senator Webster called regarding E-Lang.  what can
he possibly be thinking?  Senator Milbank regarding Lang.  NO NO NO NO NO.
Byrth and McNull not a snow ball's chance... That's not about Lang.  That's
about the house bill.

JOSH
I need a drink.

DONNA
C.J. says you need some R&R.

JOSH
C.J.'s right.

DONNA
Usually.  You want a Black Eyed Susan?

JOSH
Is that a drink?

DONNA
It's a cookie.  My mom sent them.

JOSH
No -- Yes.

DONNA
Peanut butter with a chocolate kiss.

JOSH
Are they cat people?  [holding up cookie tin lid with 2 pictures of cats on it]

DONNA
No they're not

JOSH
These theirs?

DONNA
She-shack and Me-shack

JOSH
2 cats - cat people

DONNA
For years the only one they had died over Christmas.

JOSH
This is a dry cookie.

DONNA
After what was deemed an appropriate mourning period they went to get a new
one and my mother liked white and my father liked the gray.  They claimed
after 39 years of marriage of no controversy.  So they got both.  That
doesn't make them cat people.  The house doesn't smell.

[JOSH looks at her strangely]

DONNA
I have crumbs?

[TOBY's office, JOSH enters]

JOSH
They pick one!

TOBY
They pick one?

JOSH
That's how we get Evy Lang and not as a decoy.  We put her on the court.

TOBY
Why?

JOSH
The Chief Justice says he wouldn't step down because the President wouldn't be
able to fill his seat with another liberal lion.  She's the liberal lion.
Ashland resigns.  She takes his seat.  Ok?  And we offer the Republican
Senate Judiciary Committee the opportunity to hand pick a conservative for
Brady's seat.  We put 'em both up.

TOBY
More wishing.  Want some?

JOSH
Listen to me.

TOBY
No.

JOSH
I'm serious.

TOBY
And then we got what after we hand the Republicans a seat on the Supreme
Court with a red bow on top?!

JOSH
We have a balanced court.  They can't let Brady's seat go to a liberal.  So
let them keep it.  Meanwhile, we name the first female Chief Justice of the
Supreme Court in the nation's history.  I'm taking it to the President.

TOBY
No you're not.  Do not go in there.

[hallway to Oval]

JOSH
Trippin.

TOBY
Ashland is 82.  We may have an opportunity to put 2 people on this bench.
That's 2 seats we fill with Democrats.

JOSH
Moderates.

TOBY
What do you care how moderate they are?  2 is twice as many as 1.

[JOSH and Toby enter DEBBIE's office.  Door to Oval is cracked open.]

JOSH
Can I get in there?

DEBBIE
No, just a minute.

TOBY
We don't need him.

JOSH
Not moderate, mediocre.

TOBY
What, Ashland is not bright enough for you?

JOSH
More than bright enough.  If we had a bench full of moderates in 54 'Separate
but Equal' would still be on the books and this place would still have 2
sets of drinking fountains.

[DEBBIE tries to shush them.]

TOBY
Moderate means temperate.  It means responsible.  It means thoughtful.

JOSH
It means cautious.  It means unimaginative.

TOBY
It means being more concerned about making decisions than making history.

DEBBIE
Indoor voices please.

JOSH
Is that really the biggest tragedy in the world?  That we nominated somebody
who made an impression instead of some second rate crowd pleaser?

TOBY
The ability to see 2 sides of an argument is not the hallmark of an inferior
intellect.

DEBBIE
Toby!

[JED looks out door.  Looks at DEBBIE.  JED closes door.]

JOSH
What about the vast arenas of debates that a moderate won't even address?
A mind like Lang's.  let them pick a conservative.

DEBBIE
Josh!

JOSH
Like Justice Brady.

DEBBIE
Josh!

JOSH
We canned Hagen's position.  But he's a visionary.  Blew the whole thing
open.  Changed the whole argument.

[DEBBIE sprays water in Josh's face.]

DEBBIE
The President will see you now.

[In oval]

JED
And you?

TOBY
I think they're going to pick a young, spry, conservative idiolot who's
going to camp out in that seat for 45 years.

JOSH
Fine.  2 voices are articulating the debate at either end of the spectrum.

JED
Filling another seat on the court may be the only lasting thing I do in this
office.  Shelton's a great choice and he'll make us proud.  And if Ashland
resigns in a year, we have a stack of great options.  We can't give it away.

JOSH
Mr. President, the first woman in that chair.

TOBY
We go out on some limb here and alienate the Senate.  They'll tread water
for 3 years and we get nobody!  The next guy gets to fill Brady's seat.

JED
Take it to Ashland.  See what he says.

[JOSH and Toby waiting in Ashland's office.]

TOBY
How did you come up with it?

JOSH
What?

TOBY
The swapety-doo.

JOSH
There was.... Donna's mom... I thought it up in the shower.

[Ashland enters with assistant]

ASHLAND
[to assistant] Who let them in?

TOBY
Sorry to disturb you sir.

ASHLAND
Carrier pigeons.

ASHLAND
Oh -- your flowers.  Yah we like them.

JOSH
I'm dreadfully sorry about that sir.

ASHLAND
For God's sake, let us sit above the ground and tell sad stories of the
death of kings.  Hagen was your age.  Eat your greens.

TOBY
He was a great man.

ASHLAND
He was a selfish bastard.

JOSH
You told the President you hope to be replaced by a liberal with the same
level conviction that you brought to the chair.

ASHLAND
That sounds like something I'd say.

TOBY
Sir, are you familiar with Evelyn Baker Lang?

ASHLAND
Miss Lang, you've met with her?

JOSH
Yes sir.

ASHLAND
How are you going to get her past the pit bulls?  They're not going to like
the notion of Miss Lang in Owen Brady's seat.

JOSH
For your seat, if - if - you were to resign, she'd be Chief.

ASHLAND
My seat?  What about Brady's?

TOBY
We'd allow the Judiciary Committee to choose someone.  A conservative.

JOSH
Would you consider stepping down under those circumstances?

ASHLAND
Sure.

JOSH
We think it might be a viable option.

ASHLAND
Go ahead, see who they pick of their favorite sons.  See the segregationists.
Anti-decationists.  Isaiah quoting, gay-bashing bastard they come up with.
[chuckle - to assistant]  Jed Bartlet from New Hampshire had an idea.  Oh-oh

Fade Out
End of Act II

******************


ACT III

THURSDAY

[LISA Wolfe's office.  Josh enters]

LISA
[to assistant]  I cut this because what he's implying is illegal.  Take it
back out.
[to Josh] 3 times in 1 week.  In some cultures we'd be married.

JOSH
Chilling.

LISA
Is it Shelton?

JOSH
He's the front runner.

LISA
Good, are we done?

JOSH
Mind if I shut the door?

LISA
No.

JOSH
How are you doing?

LISA
Ah, super!

JOSH
Feeling good?

LISA
I got a meeting in 4 minutes.

JOSH
I'm going to float an idea here that even I can't believe I'm mentioning
it and my colleagues definitely can't believe I'm mentioning it and the
President would probably prefer I drop completely and if I find it in the
Washington Post tomorrow morning, I'll march straight out to the Press Room
and tell them the idea came from you.  It'll embarrass the crap out of your
boss and you'll be on hot jobs by nightfall.

[Back at the White House.... Toby walks into his office, sees Andy and walks
out to his assistant]

TOBY
There's somebody in my office.

MARINA
I thought it was your ex-wife.

TOBY
Didn't you want to warn me about that?

MARINA
You asked her to come in.

[TOBY walks back into his office]

ANDREA
She's cute.

TOBY
Late some night our eyes will meet over the marriage uncommissioned report.
We'll be at the Justice of the Peace before dawn.  You want to talk about
this dog and pony show you're attending in Gonza?

ANDREA
Not really.  Bradford Shelton.

TOBY
He's on the list.  You're not going to Gonza.

ANDREA
I still don't want to talk about it.

TOBY
You're not attending peace talks with a bunch of Israelis or Palestinians
who don't work for the Israeli or Palestinian government.

ANDREA
They may generate some useful ideas.

TOBY
The ideas already exist.  The problem is getting recognized parties to stick
to the plan.

ANDREA
So we sit with our hands folded?

TOBY
We asked them for democracy.  We should maintain some scrap of respect for
the guys who are democratically elected.

ANDREA
If you're really interested in peace, you'll negotiate with anyone.  You'd
negotiate with the mailman.

TOBY
Thanks for tee-ing that up.  The mailman can't deliver.

ANDREA
We'll see.

TOBY
No we won't see.  You're jeopardizing this country's relationship with the
LuKan party and with the Palestinian authority and it's not an option.

ANDREA
Is that all you've got here?  No.  And what about the kids?

TOBY
No, why did something happen?

ANDREA
I'm going away for 2 weeks.

TOBY
Will they be...?

ANDREA
At my mothers...

TOBY
Good.

ANDREA
Would you have asked?

TOBY
I figured your mothers', which is apparently....

ANDREA
You say you want to be involved doesn't come with an embossed invitation.
You involve yourself or you don't.

TOBY
The President would like to remind you that this is a fact-finding mission.
Please make it clear to any parties that you meet with that you are not
empowered to negotiate for the United States.

[Andy leaves]

[Josh approaches C.J.'s closed door]

JOSH
Is she in there?

CAROL
Hang on.  She's getting off....

[C.J. laughs loudly through the door]

The phone.... [into speaker phone] you want Josh?

C.J.
Lord knows I do!

[Josh Enters]

C.J.
Josh Lyman as I live and breathe!  You wanna cookie?  They're from Donna's
mother.

JOSH
I spoke to Lisa Wolfe.

C.J.
What did she say?

JOSH
I don't want to talk about it.  I'm hiding from Toby.

C.J.
[giggles]  Nothing.  You're hiding.  That's funny.

JOSH
It's not funny.

[TOBY enters]

TOBY
Hey

C.J.
[laughs] see!  It is!

TOBY
What's going on?

JOSH
C.J. has the giggles.

C.J.
It's your deal.  I find it elating.

TOBY
She stoned?

C.J.
I'm fine.  I just didn't get enough sleep.

JOSH
You were with Ranger Rick weren't you?

C.J.
Josh spoke to Lisa Wolfe.

TOBY
She give you a name?

JOSH
You are a faithless wench.

TOBY
What's the name?

JOSH
Christopher Mulready.  Wait for it....

TOBY
Christopher MULREADY????!!!!

JOSH
There it is.

C.J.
Isn't that the....

TOBY
The American's Democrat.  The triumphant of socialism.

JOSH
He doesn't like the name.

TOBY
The man wrote a book that flushes the entire doctrine of enumerated rights
down the

C.J.
Toilet.

TOBY
The garbage disposal.  No right to use a condom.  No right to get an abortion,
certainly.  No protection from electronic searches.  No substitutive due
process.

C.J.
He's what, 48?

JOSH
I know.

C.J.
The wife's going to blow a gasket!

TOBY
No separation of church and state.

JOSH
We got problems on the right too.  Kogan, Howard, Tondelo.  They can't vote
for Mulready.  Their constituencies are too moderate.

TOBY
Get another name.

JOSH
That is the name.

TOBY
There are other....

JOSH
This is the deal.  He's what Evelyn Lang is to them.  We nominate the patron
saint of a woman's right to choose for Chief Justice.  We ask them to ignore
an incredibly rich piece of her personal history.  We take the name they
give to us.

TOBY
This isn't going to work.

JOSH
Yah.

[Josh leaves]

TOBY
It isn't.

[JOSH's office]

TOBY
If --- if we were going to try this, what would be the plan?

JOSH
We give the President and Leo the name.  We bring Christopher Mulready
in.  We bring Lang back in, hopefully the 2 of them woo the pants off the
President.  And he agrees to the deal without noticing he's standing in the
gaze of history pantless.

TOBY
I'll talk to him.

JOSH
You don't have to talk to him.

TOBY
You have been on about this since Plauser called me.  What are you doing
about the committee.

JOSH
Lisa Wolfe is going to take it to chairman....

TOBY
I meant the Democrats.  I need to get Senator Pierce on board or you get
nobody.  What are you going to do about Pierce?

[RYAN singing and dancing in the hallway]
'Won't you stay... just a little big longer... '

DONNA
[To RYAN] Stop.

TOBY
I thought you were firing him?

JOSH
I wish he made it so.  Donna!  Send in Elvis.

[Moments later, RYAN enters Josh's office]

RYAN
What's up?

JOSH
Come ion in, take a load off.  I was a little, ah, brusk with you before.
I'm sorry about that.

RYAN
Ok

JOSH
Your feelings a little hurt?

RYAN
Not at all

JOSH
Really?  Why not?

RYAN
Would this be easier if they were?

JOSH
I said I was going to fire you if it wasn't for....

RYAN
Are you?  Firing me?

JOSH
No.

RYAN
Then there's a sticks and stones thing that comes to mind.

[DEBBIE's office.  TOBY, DEBBIE and Leo enter]

TOBY
The Guinosido called and I spoke to Andy.

LEO
Anything?

TOBY
No. The National Security Caucus is sponsoring the delegation.  We can talk
to them.

LEO
We'll deal with it next week.  Don't worry about it.

TOBY
We got a name for Brady's seat.

LEO
Somebody workable?

DEBBIE
You can go in now.

LEO
Thank you.

[Camera stays on DEBBIE in her office as Leo and Toby enter the Oval and
shut the door.  Through the door you hear...]

TOBY
Mulready.

JED
MULREADY!!!

TOBY
That's the name.

JED
No!!!  Are you out of your bloody mind?!!

TOBY
Let's sit down and talk about this.

JED
The last time I heard Christopher Mulready's name it was in conjunction with
[DEBBIE turns up radio to cover up the yelling]
A treatest over the rights of incorporation and a Chicano in the world and
some sort of baloney about the stranglehold and the EPA is placed on the
endangered species....

Fade Out
End of Act III

******************

ACT IV

THURSDAY EVENING

[outside Donna's cubicle]
JOSH
Ryan in here yet?

DONNA
Not yet.

Charlie
Chris Mulready?

JOSH
Yah

Charlie
He censored on minority set assage instruct hate crime legislation. When
asked the Miranda Rights.  Feeling pretty good about that?

JOSH
It's not a perfect plan.  I'm the first to admit.

Charlie
The President wants to really wait.  He's not going to spend 5 minutes alone
with this clown.

[C.J. enters]

C.J.
The press room's clear.  Carole is going to babysit the firing squad.  But
keep your eye out for roaming reporters.

CHARLIE
You're in on this too?

JOSH
[to Donna]  we got Lang coming in to meet the President at 7.  Christopher
Mulready is at 8.  The press can't see 'em .  We need a clear shot from the
Roosevelt room to the Oval.

DONNA
He's on the short list?

JOSH
He is if she is.  We make it both.

DONNA
My god.  You're putting my mother's council on the Supreme Court.

C.J.
You're what?

JOSH
It's just and experiment.  She meant century.  Look it.

TOBY
Hello.

JOSH
Just don't tell anyone else that story.

TOBY
We all settled?

C.J.
Marchis' got the goods.  Marco's go the cost.  Niki's on lookout.

DONNA
Hey!

JOSH
Shall we?

[RYAN enters huddle]

RYAN
Sorry.

JOSH
Marco's here.

C.J.
Knock 'em dead.

[all leave]

C.J.
[to Toby] Pierce will never buy it will he?

TOBY
Nope.

[Walking down the hall]

RYAN
Remember, he's all bark.  Just let him holler and wear himself out.  He's
got the strength.  You've got the endurance.  Here.  [hands over bottle].
Use it wisely and for God's sake, don't try to keep up.  You're way out of
your league.

JOSH
Not necessary.  Thank you.

[JOSH enters mural room where Senator Pierce is waiting.]

SENATOR PIERCE
Good to see you Josh.

JOSH
Senator Pierce, thank you so much for stopping in.

RYAN
Josh was pretty impressed with your floor speech on Tuesday.

SENATOR PIERCE
Josh can kiss up all on his own.  Get back to work.

RYAN
Yell if you need me.

[RYAN leaves]

SENATOR PIERCE
And is he behaving?

JOSH
He's .. uh... a treat.

SENATOR PIERCE
Well, he better be.  He begged me for over 2 years to get him a job in
this place.

JOSH
Really?

SENATOR PIERCE
Watch yourself, he's a mean and hungry tiger.  Have somebody taste your food.

JOSH
RYAN?

SENATOR PIERCE
So!  Craziest rumor you ever heard running around the committee.

JOSH
Oh, yah?

SENATOR PIERCE
Charlie Feltzman says you want to put Chris Mulready on the Supreme Court
.  I said anybody who tries is going to find himself in a closed session
with myself, the minority leader, and the business end of a 2 by 4.

JOSH
You know, we got a 21 year old [Glen Levet?] knocking around here.  Can I
get you a drink?

[DEBBIE's office]

C.J.
Lang still in there?

DEBBIE
Oh, she's a big hit.

C.J.
She has to leave.  Her evil twin Skippy is on is way.

DEBBIE
I did our secret wrap it up sign which is:  I knock and say 'The deputy NSA
needs to talk about Japan' and he said 'you talk to him, you've been there'
which is true.  But it makes me think he's forgotten it's a secret sign.

C.J.
How about "Excuse me Mr. President we need to move on"?

DEBBIE
If you want the job, you're going to have to work on your typing.

[Roosevelt room where Mulready is waiting]

TOBY
Apologies.  He's running behind schedule.

CHRISTOPHER
I imagine that happens.  You want to tell me what I'm doing here?

TOBY
Oh, just a hello.

CHRISTOPHER
I'm not being impeached?

TOBY
No

CHRISTOPHER
This is not a particularly some subtle form of intimidation about the gays
in the workplace case?

TOBY
That would be illegal.

CHRISTOPHER
My point exactly.

TOBY
The President will explain....   Any minute now.

But since you mention it, I read your article on Bellington and I may be out on
a fringe here, but I - I don't see how a family values conservative justifies
denying committed couples access to the benefits of state sanctioned monogamy.

CHRISTOPHER
Homosexual couples.

TOBY
Couples.  A couple is a couple.

[C.J.'s office.  Josh enters]

JOSH
Howdy.

C.J.
How is Ryan's uncle?

JOSH
He's a blast.  Come meet him.

C.J.
He's still here?  Oh my God!  You're drunk!

JOSH
I think I just promised him a pork barrel roads project on a blitz bill that
doesn't exist.

C.J.
[starting to run out of the office]

JOSH
Don't try to keep.  He's got a wooden - hollow leg!  I think he drinks a lot.

[Back in the Roosevelt room]

TOBY
It's an equal protection violation.

CHRISTOPHER
Homosexuals are not a suspect class.

TOBY
Only one that denies access.

CHRISTOPHER
No.

TOBY
To over 1,000 federal protections.

CHRISTOPHER
To what?

TOBY
Survivor benefits all the way to Social Security.

CHRISTOPHER
$255.00?  I'll write you a check.

TOBY
Hospital decision making.

CHRISTOPHER
So, talk about power of attorney not marriage.  Besides the fact it doesn't
only restrict access to marriage.

TOBY
Of course it restricts access. It restricts full faith and credit.

CHRISTOPHER
So, Vermont gets to steer a nation on wide marriage legislation?  Vermont?

[Carole escorts Evelyn in]

EVELYN
Well, this is a sight to see!  One of the more unlikely meetings in the
history of the Bartlet White House.

CHRISTOPHER
It's good to see you Evy.

EVELYN
You too Chris.  I came to say good bye.  I whish I had a camera.

CHRISTOPHER
Mr. Ziegler was trying to convince me that the defense of Marriage Act is
unconstitutional.

EVELYN
Oh D.O.M.A.!  He was trying to convince you? [chuckle]

TOBY
What?

EVELYN
He doesn't need convincing.

TOBY
I wasn't doing it because...

EVELYN
He was yanking your chain.  He would never uphold D.O.M.A.  He may not love
the idea of gay marriage, but he hates congressional overreaching and congress
doesn't have the power to legislate marriage.  The issue isn't privacy.

CHRISTOPHER
Or equal protection.

EVELYN
It's enumerated powers.  He'll have an easier time knocking down DOMA than
I will.

CHRISTOPHER
Lack of imagination on your part, if I may be so bold.

TOBY
You were yanking my chain?

CHRISTOPHER
You called me in for a meeting with a Democratic president in the middle of
the night.  Are you really going to give me crap about yanking your chain?

[Josh waving outside the doors to Toby]

EVELYN
Josh Lyman is just tickulating wildly.

TOBY
Excuse me.

[Outside the doors]

TOBY
Where's the Senator?

JOSH
He's in with C.J..  He got me all drunk.

TOBY
Is he leaving?

JOSH
I think he's getting C.J. all drunk.  How's it going?

TOBY
He's dragging down gay marriage bans and she's defending him and they're as
thick as thieves and he's a fan of Jane Yankee.

JOSH
She's defending him?

TOBY
Down is down and down is up.

[Josh cracks open door to eavesdrop on debate]

EVELYN
I am not... no I am not rewriting Article 1.  I am saying that a gun free
school zone...

CHRISTOPHER
Is not a federal issue and Lopez

EVELYN
Lopez overturned 50 years of precedent.

CHRISTOPHER
Too bad.  They were the plain text reading of the commerce clause, does not
afford congress to...

EVELYN
A plain text reading of the constitution values a negro at three-fifths of
a man.

CHRISTOPHER
Hence the 13th, 14th and 15th Amendment.

EVELYN
Oh, how generous.  Thank you.

CHRISTOPHER
The relationship between guns and schools and interstate commerce is... is...

EVELYN
You don't think that the quality of education has a direct affect on the
economic...

[DEBBIE's office]

TOBY
Is he?

DEBBIE
Waiting to meet a man you're holding hostage in the Roosevelt room.

[TOBY enter's Oval]

[Josh enters Mural room to C.J. and Pierce singing lyrics from American Pie,
obviously drunk]

JOSH
Ok... ok.... Everyone needs to put down their glasses and pay attention.

[Back in the Oval]

JED
You like him.

TOBY
I hate him.  I hate him, but he's brilliant and the 2 of the them together
fighting like cats and dogs.  But it works.

[Back in the Mural room]

SENATOR PIERCE
You couldn't find a single warm blooded centrist to put on the court?

JOSH
We've got centrists.  We've got 6 of them plus 2 staunch conservatives plus
Justice Ashland.  The one clarion voice articulating a liberal vision.  He's
going to go and then what?

[Back in the Oval]

JED
[sigh] well send him in....

TOBY
Sir

JED
I said I'll listen to him Toby. That's going to have to do.

[hallway]

DONNA
Toby.

TOBY
What?

DONNA
Nothing's happening.

[Carole escorts CHRISTOPHER down the hall]

DONNA
That's him?

TOBY
Yah.

DONNA
No tan.  No clift or nose.

[Oval Office]

DEBBIE
Judge Mulready.

JED
Thanks for coming in.

CHRISTOPHER
It's an honor sir.

JED
Please.  I understand that you and Judge Lang had a bit of a
knock-down-drag-out.

CHRISTOPHER
She wants to federalize law enforcement.

JED
Yah

CHRISTOPHER
I thought it was too hasty.

JED
Not your brand of judge?

CHRISTOPHER
Quite the opposite.  I haven't had that much fun in months.

JED
Really?

CHRISTOPHER
You sir, if you can, I'm not sure what all this is about.  I suppose a number
of people are placated by a glimpse of someone like her or someone like me
in these halls. I'm most certainly here for that.  If there is anyway that
you can use her.

JED
It's unlikely.

CHRISTOPHER
Who's at the to of the list?   ... If I leaked it would they believe me?

JED
Brad Shelton.

CHRISTOPHER
Really?

JED
You don't like him?

CHRISTOPHER
He's a fine jurist and in the event that Charmine, Lafayette, Hoyt, Clarke
and Brandegen all drop dead this summer, we'd still be well tended.

JED
You want another Brady?

CHRISTOPHER
Sure, just like you'd like another Ashland - who wouldn't?  the court was
at its best when Brady was fighting Ashland.

JED
Plenty of good law written by the voice of moderation.

CHRISTOPHER
Who writes the extraordinary dissent?  The one man minority opinion whose
time hasn't come but 20 years later some circuit court clerk digs it up at
3 in the morning.  Brenden railing against censorship.  Harlen's Jeremiah
and I'm Jim Crowe.

JED
Maybe you some day?

CHRISTOPHER
They can't put me on the court, just like you can't put Evelyn Lang on the
court.  It's Sheltons from here on in.

JED
There are 4,000 protestors outside this building worried about who's going
to land in that seat.  We can't afford to alienate all of them.

CHRISTOPHER
We all have our roles to play sir.  Yours is to nominate someone who doesn't
alienate people.

[Outside press briefing room

FRIDAY MORNING

JOSH
Where's Toby?

C.J.
Can you see this? [pointing to spot on her blouse]

JOSH
Yah

C.J.
It's water, it'll dry.

JOSH
Alright.

[TOBY enters]

TOBY
Ready?

[on the TV in background...]

REPORTER
... have gathered around..... Ashland having served 32 years on the United
States Supreme Court, 12 of them as Chief will officially announce his
retirement in just a moment.

[on another TV in the hallway, with President and Evelyn watching]

ASHLAND
[at Press briefing podium]  Henry Starr retired I received a photo, you are
probably learning to what.  It's been an honor to pause in Henry Starr's
chair and enjoy the...

C.J.
[to JED] You can take 3 questions while standing at the podium.

JED
[to Evelyn] you ready?  [Lang is engrossed in Ashland's announcement]
[To C.J.] That's a yes.

[in another area of the same hallway]

CHRISTOPHER
[to Charlie] So, why a racial preference and not an economic one?

CHARLIE
Because affirmative action is about a legacy of racial emersion.

CHRISTOPHER
That's like compromising admissions standards.

CHARLIE
That's bull.

CHRISTOPHER
Excuse me?

CHARLIE
It's about leveling the playing field after 300 years.

CHRISTOPHER
See, this is where the liberal argument goes off the rails.  You get stuck
in the past.  Now you wanna comeback at me with grading is based on past
performance, but admissions should be based on potential on how a candidate
may thrive with this sort of opportunity.  Studies show that affirmative
action applicants have a higher pre-disposition to contribute to society.

CHARLIE
Hang on, I got to write this down.

[TOBY tucks a book into coat pocket]

JED
Ah-ah-ah.  Hand it over.

[Josh does]

[to Evelyn] Toby has a daughter 10 months old.  She's a looker and very
bright.  And someday he'd like to give her this copy of the 14th Amendment
signed by the first woman to ever hold this job.

EVELYN
Have you got a...

TOBY
Oh... [hands her a pen]

[EVELYN signs book while Jed holds it for her]

TOBY
Would you mind adding that title?

EVELYN
That's a bit premature, isn't it?

JED
No.

[EVELYN adds title to signature]

[C.J. enters]

C.J.
Mr. President

JED
Shall we?

[In the press room at the podium]

C.J.
Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.

JED
The honorable Christopher Mulready, nominee for Associate Justice - United
States Supreme Court.  The honorable Evelyn Baker Lang, nominee for Chief
Justice - United States Supreme Court.  I look forward to taking your
questions.


The West Wing episode 5.17 "The Supremes", original air date 24 March, 2004.